I tear my heart open ... just to feel

-- An old post on my old blog site --
At the funeral service of one of my colleagues, and later at the cemetery while the casket was lowered, I saw the look of grief on the faces of his widow and parents. The widow was standing to one side of the casket, holding a photo of him. I looked at them, and at the people around me, and suddenly I felt my eyes fill up. I didn't want to hold it back either, and here's the kicker... I liked it! It may seem a terrible thing to say, but its not. I genuinely felt sorrow for their loss, and sad because of the loss of a good coworker and a good friend, but at the same time felt good to feel .. something! People *live to feel*. I'd rather feel sorrow, pain, anger, grief than to not feel anything at all. The emptiness of our lives are filled up by emotions - they are the points we remember looking back. At that moment, standing at the cemetery remembering my departed friend, I felt good to feel, to hurt, to grieve. It's been said that it is not our thinking power or our opposable thumbs that make us human, it is our ability to feel and express complex emotions. I now see why.